What type of husband and man are you?

What type of husband and man are you?

   OK, I realize that tonight is not going to be my usual blog, but this is something that I feel very strong about and the Lord and I have been over this many times but I really want to get this out there. I hope you will indulge me and pray for me that what I have already written in my mind will come across as I feel God wants it too. Thank You.

     

      As most of you reading this know, I submitted to the will of God a few years ago and have answered the call to preach the word. I also have answered the call to minister to those God allows me to cross paths with as the spirit leads. But what I had not come to grips with until very recently is why God had chosen me, and for what purpose had he chosen me. But a few weeks ago, I started to feel like I was beginning to understand these issues.  All of this seemed to come about the same time that the Church I attend and serve in agreed to license me as a minister of the Gospel. Now I have to tell you, for the body of Christ to recognize the call on a man’s life and acknowledge that with licensing/ ordination or whatever you want to call it, is an amazing feeling for that person. You see, if you know God has called you to preach, that is the greatest feeling on this earth when you submit to it, and you don't need any other authority to acknowledge it at all in reality. But when the body of believers sees it and acknowledges that, it just means that they have faith in you as a man of God, willing to stand for what is right, true and honorable in God's sight, and that they are willing to say OK if God called you, we are willing to respect and honor that call with you. OK, enough of that and back to the real reason we are here.

          Now, the reasons why and the purpose of God calling me came to me a few weeks ago and they actually go hand in hand in my opinion. You see, God knows my past like no other except me, and he knows the things I have been through in my life. He knows that there are certain people out there that I understand better than most people, and there are those that I can sympathize with for reasons I will not go into at this time. He also knows that there are people out there that I have literally no use for, and those are the ones he has called me to try to reach. You see, God has this amazing sense of humor. He will take the one thing that you cannot stand, as far as people, and he will say OK go tell them about me. And when you realize what he has told you to go do, you want to look at him and go "What? But Lord, I really don't think that's a good idea, I mean you know how I feel about those type of people don't you?”  And his answer back is always, “Go tell them that Jesus loves them, that he died for them and with their acceptance of him, and the repentance of their sin, he can make them happy again.”

          A lot of you are reading this and going, OH MY GOODNESS, I had no idea Bill was that prejudiced. Well, rest easy I'm not. The group of people God has called me to minister to are men. Now you’re even more confused aren't you? Now don't get me wrong, I do not have bad feelings toward all men. Only those who are involved in Domestic Violence, as Spousal Abusers, Child Abusers, Women Beaters, Child Molesters, and the list could continue but I am sure by now you get the picture.  I know there are men reading this that are going, well what about women who abuse men and children. I have no use for them either , and yes I am called to minister to everyone, not just men, but I know I am to reach out to the men in our communities as sure as God created the Heaven's and the Earth. 

      In Ephesians 5:25-29 reads "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church". In Ephesians 6:4 we read "Fathers don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord". This is some pretty good instructions and we will come back to them, but first I want to show you a few statistics on the subject of Domestic Violence.

A) 1 in 4 Women in America HAVE or WILL experience Domestic Violence in their lifetime.

B) Women account for 85% of the victims of Intimate Partner Violence. (Men are only 15%)

C) On Average 3 Women and 1 Man are KILLED in the United States each day.

D) In a National Survey in 1990, (and I can guarantee you it has not went down, if anything it has went way up),50% of the men in American Families who frequently abuse their wives, also frequently abuse their children. 

E) EVERY 9 SECONDS IN THE U.S., A WOMAN IS ABUSED!!!!

F) Boy's who witness Domestic Abuse in the home while growing up, are 2 times more likely to abuse their own partners or Children when they become an adult.

G) Nearly 1/3 of all female murder victims reported are killed by an intimate partner!!!

DO WE SEE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? DO WE SEE A NEED IN AMERICA? It is time to wake up and smell the stench of lost souls and uneducated men in this country. It is time for the Church to go back to being the hospital for the sick and not a country club for the saints. And with all these statistics, how does that apply to my calling?  Well it's actually very simple. MEN IN AMERICA, FOR THE MOST PART, HAVE TURNED INTO UNGODLY BEASTS, WHO CARE FOR NOTHING AND HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES OR OTHERS!!!!!!!

     That’s where my call comes in. You see I have never been a spousal abuser, or child abuser. Like I said I have no use for that, but what I am is a man. A man who at one point in his life was no better than a snake in the grass,  who once was as lost as the men who commit these cold and heartless acts on women and children. I was once a man without conviction or reason. I was once a man who hated himself and everything inside him, so I tried my best to hide from myself in a bottle of liquor, or marijuana joint. I to tried to make myself happy with everything you could imagine, from shall we say, promiscuous activities to alcohol fueled nights. So who better to minister to someone in that position, than someone who has been there? That is why God chose me, and that is his purpose for me. 

    You see as Husbands, we should love our wives as much as God loves his church. We should be willing to lay down our lives for our wives and children. We should not be raising our hands in violence to hit our wives, while our children watch and cry or scream. What we, as men of God should be doing is lifting our hand in Praise and Worship to a holy God that has given his life for us. We should be doing this while our wives and children are watching and learning from our actions. You see, God so loved the WORLD that he gave his only son as a ransom for our sins. And he didn't do it just for one person, he did it for everybody. We must reach these men with the message of the Gospel first, if we ever expect to combat the evil of Domestic Violence. We must first teach them that Jesus loves them unconditionally, before we can expect them to love their families unconditionally. We MUST show them Christ in our dealings with our wives and children, and let them see an example of a Godly Man in us, before we can expect them to be a Godly man in their house. That is why God called me to preach the word, TO MINISTER TO MEN. 

          This is something that has bothered me for many years. I hate to watch the news on TV, or visit a news channel's web page, because it seems like there is a new case of murder or serious injury due to Domestic Violence every day. We wonder why our crime rates are up. We wonder why teen pregnancy is up. We wonder why school crime is up. We wonder why robbery and murder are up. We wonder how a husband can kill his wife and children, before killing himself. The answer is very easy. We have left Christ out of the home Men!  We have let the enemy walk in, sit down on, and take up residence in our home, while we sit back and do nothing. But the time has come to take back our homes. The time has come to be a Godly example for our wives and Children. The time has come for you to get up, dust off your clothes, repent of our sins, open up the Bible, and become the men of God we are called to be. 

         In the movie Courageous, in one of the final scenes, Adam, the lead character in this movie, is speaking in front of his church and he says, "Where are you men of Courage", and today I ask " where are you men of God, where are you hiding? Come out and stand up for Jesus. Put down the beer, and pick up the Bible. Fall down on your knees in the drunkenness of the Spirit of God, and cry out to the one who can take the pain, and the misery out of your life, out of your heart, and replace it with the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Become the Husband that instead of lifting your hand in violence lifts his hands in praise to the God who spoke the universe into existence. Become the man that God has called you to be, not the man that you have allowed Satan to control.

         Men, I challenge you this day, ask yourself one question. What are my Children seeing in me? What kind of Father do they think I am? What kind of Legacy am I leaving in my wake? Does my wife look forward to me coming home from work, or does she live in fear that today may be the day my rage gets out of control and I hurt her again or kill her? Are my Children happy at home, or do they fear me and what I might do to them? 

         This blog is the result of many hours of thought on this subject, too many stories in the news about Domestic Violence and Child abuse, and a deep reflection on Why and What. Why God called me to preach and what was his purpose for that calling. I know the answers to those questions now, but I ask you Men, do you know the Why and What in your life?  Why do you do the things you do, and what do your Wife and Children see in you?

          I pray that you will open your eyes to the one who knew you before you were born, and I pray that you answer those questions honestly. I am here if you need me, all you have to do is email me at cntrydadof3@gmail.com , and be sure to put the words "I want to be a man of God" in the subject line, and I will get back with you and assist you in that pursuit as much as possible. God bless you and may the Lord keep you safe.

In Christ's Love,


     Bro. Bill Roy