I know its been a little longer than normal since my last blog and for those who follow it I apologize. I took a small break over Christmas to enjoy the season with my family and my friends and then bam before ya know it here it is a new year already. It's easy to tell we are in a new year because you see alot of those shows that say "the best of 2010, or the worst of 2010,the best and worst of 2010, the ugly of 2010". Seeing these shows advertised the other day and realizing that today was the anniversary of my quitting smoking a year ago, made me think back over the last year, well actually after the last year and 4 months or so. let me explain.
About 16 months ago, roughly August or September 2009, I think I started feeling like there was something I was supposed to be doing and something missing in my life. I realized that the only thing in my life that made sense to me anymore was my family. Don't get me wrong things made sense but something was telling me that other than my family it was all empty. My work, even though I enjoy it immensely, wasn't fulfilling anymore. Christmas wasn't special to me, Easter had no meaning. I realized that there was a void in my life and nothing could fill it and make me feel better.About this time my beautiful wife Angie started pretty much demanding that I quit smoking. She was tenacious bless her heart and she basically told me it was her or the smoking but one of them was gone come the first of the year (2010).Now I have to be honest I loved smoking and was not sure I could give it up. So here I was struggling with this empty feeling and now I had to figure out how on God's green earth was going to stop smoking and remain sane as well lol. Then it hit me, what I was missing was my relationship with Jesus. You see I walked away from Christ many years ago and jumped head first into sin and basically forgot all about the sacrifice that Christ had made for me, for us, at Calvary all those many years ago. When i walked away from God i also walked away from the calling he had for me, and by doing so he allowed me to wander in Darkness, sin, for almost 20 years before he started dealing with me again. I realized that the emptiness that I was feeling was the Holy Spirit dealing with me, telling me basically it was time to come home again and to remember the words of Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. . So i sat down, and it may have been wrong of me but at the time I wasn't really thinking like I should have been, and I asked God to help me to quit smoking but more than that I asked him that if he would help me to regain my joy and to take that emptiness out of my life that I would make sure that I would find a church that my family and I felt comfortable with and we would rededicate our lives to him and to his kingdom. I also asked him to restore the calling he had once placed on my life but that I had walked away from. I told him that never had I been happier in my life than when I was walking with him daily and doing what I felt was his will.
My wife really had no idea that I had made this request of God and so when we were talking one day and I said something about the thought of getting out of the car business and she asked me what would I do. I wish you could have seen her face when I said "I really want to work in the church, in the ministry". That's a face of surprise I will never forget, because of how it made me feel. That was all I had to say and she knew a change was taking place within me. We started our search, oh not heavily at first but Angie was researching churches online and we were talking and discussing and we visited a few and we finally wound up finding a Church that we feel comfortable at and that we feel God has called us to help minister in. I have seen God move in mine and my families lives this past year in such ways that an unbeliever would not understand. He has been faithful to restore my calling and he has strengthened my marriage which was fine but is now stronger than ever. He restored that Joy i was missing and the emptiness is now gone. Christmas this year was joyful for me, which is something it has not been in a long time, and I look forward to see what this year has in store.I know in my spirit that 2011 will be a glorious year in my Lord and I am thankful for his blessings of the past year.
2 Timothy 2:25-26 says " Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." I was one of those that opposed him per say and he had to "gently" instruct or nudge me per say. and I saw the error of my ways and turned back to the one who died for me a little over 2000 yrs ago. My life is now full. Oh I may struggle financially and I may not have the best of everything but you know what, those things don't matter. At the end of this life , when death comes to greet us, the question you must ask yourself is "did I turn from my sinful ways and accept Christ as saviour and live for him" or was I foolish and ignored the gentle nudging of the spirit and continuing in my sinful was. Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." What wages will you earn in the new year? Will you earn enough wages to secure your eternal retirement in Heaven, or will you settle for a wage far below standards, a wage that will drive you deep into a fiery pit of eternal torment.The choice is yours brothers and sisters, choose carefully, for your life depends on it.
In Christ's Love,
Bill
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